When you’re struggling with problems, a typical knee-jerk reaction people give is “Everything will be fine, just be positive.” I’m sure they mean well but, secretly you would have thought, “That’s a bunch of boo-hockey.”
Telling people to always be positive is the worst piece of advice one could get or give.
Negative thoughts come from beliefs formed earlier in your life. For instance,
- I’ll probably fail in this task translates to I’m not good enough
- No one loves me translates to I’m not lovable
- I screwed up again translates to whatever I do isn’t good enough
So, in an effort to re-wire the brain, the new age affirmation junkies came into existence.
Let’s say you believe that you’re an un-attractive person. You may feel very strongly about this belief no matter the actual reality. When someone gives you a compliment, you may cringe because you know it’s not true. Imagine how worse it’ll be if you keep repeating “I’m beautiful, I love my self” throughout the day?
Affirmations are nothing but empty calories found in alcohol. They are “empty” and have no nutritional value.
This practice doesn’t change anything as deep down you know that you’re lying to yourself. By repeating affirmations, you are giving more power to the negative thoughts you’re trying to escape.
All this pressure to have a positive outlook and to be a positive person will have a negative impact. It leaves you with more negative emotions and pushes you into denial.
You need to get realistic!
Some of the most successful people have experienced negativity in their lives. No matter how much you try to be positive, undesirable events such as change, death, and accidents are bound to happen. They cause grief and sadness and like everything else they pass or are replaced by other experiences.
However, ego is the one that manages the feelings of joy, love, and excitement. It is also the one that clings to negative thoughts and feelings.
Just like exercising, train your ego to dwell on the optimistic side.
Listen, question, and nurture your ego. Engage with it, so that the voice of truth will come out. They will naturally send us affirmations that will uplift us. This way we needn’t force feed our mind with fake affirmations to feel good.
When negative thoughts come in, let it flow through and simply chose not to believe it.
There is a popular saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Stop thinking about the lemons, or wish you never got the lemons. Just make lemonade!
Featured image credits- me.me